Hello again,
Here is a little sample of what my current book is about. I kind of took all the essence out of the book and shoved it into a neat little short story. I hope you enjoy it!
The Evolution of Benjamin Shepherd
Benjamin took off running with his life in shambles and with a black eye to prove it. How the fuck did this happen? He thought to himself, even though he knew the answer: life just sucks. The bruise on his face would serve as a reminder of that for several days.
Just a few minutes before he confronted his friend Dylan with a few choice words.
“You ruined my life, you faggot!” he said, sparking the fight that would lead Benjamin into that panic-stricken sprint out of Cape Elizabeth High School.
“Do not call me that,” Dylan said.
“You ruined my life you faggot!” he said once more, throwing his backpack to the ground, which broke open upon impact. “Everyone knows what we did. I wish I never met you!”
“Ben, I did not force you to have sex with me,” Dylan said. “I did not make you do anything that you did not want to do. If you remember right, you were the one that kissed me.”
“Shut up faggot!” he said, looking around at all the staring eyes that were watching their confrontation. “I am not gay!”
“Please, stop calling me that,” Dylan said. “You sound like an asshole.”
“I sound like an asshole?” he asked. “Do you even know what my dad did when he found out? He beat me so bad that I could not get out of bed for days. So, do not tell me that I am being an asshole.”
“I am so sorry Ben,” Dylan said, placing his hand gently on Benjamin’s shoulder. “I had no idea.”
“What did you think I was on vacation all week?” he asked, ripping Dylan’s hand off with a violent shrug.
“You need to calm down,” Dylan said.
“How can I calm down when my whole life has turned to shit?” he asked, balling his hand into a fist.
“Please, lets go talk about this outside,” Dylan said.
“Talk to this, faggot,” he said as he winded back to take a swing at his friend.
Dylan was much stronger then Benjamin. Dylan was also much bigger for that matter. Benjamin knew he did not have a chance against his friend, but he punched him anyways. He also knew it was not Dylan he was angry at, but he punched him anyways.
“What is wrong with you?” Dylan asked after he shoved Benjamin to the ground.
“You ruined my life!” he said, picking up his fallen glasses and pushing himself up off the floor.
“Maybe I just helped you discover who you really are,” Dylan said.
“I am not gay!” he said once more, but this time running in retreat out of the school.
I am not gay, he thought to himself as he ran out towards his truck. He did not know where to go, and nor did he care. He just wanted to get away. He knew he could not go home, in fear that his dad was still there, and school was no longer an option.
He looked up to the sky and saw rain clouds forming and knew that a storm was approaching. Raindrops began to hit his forehead as he grab the handle of his truck door and jumped inside. The rain never bothered him though. So, with no other place left to go; he decided to drive to the cemetery and visit his mom’s grave.
I miss you mom, he thought as he dropped on his knees in front of his mother’s tombstone with the cold rain soaking his clothes. I wish so bad that you were still here.
Benjamin’s mom died in a car accident on her way to pick him up from school when he was eight years old. The only thing he remembers about that day is how he got so angry on the school steps waiting for her. He waited over two hours for his mom to pull up. The only car to come though was a police cruiser.
He picked up a decaying rose that he left on her grave when he visited last week. He brought the rose up to his nose for a deep inhale. He smelt his mother. The nostalgic scent brought him back to the days after school he spent with his mother as she worked on her garden. Benjamin used to love to dig the holes and plant the seeds. He used to get so dirty digging that clumps of mud would stick to his bleach blond hair, but his mother would just laugh it off when he would run into her arms for her warm embrace.
Placing the rose on the ground in front of her tombstone; Benjamin let the rain wipe off the salty tears that were dripping down his face and imagined his mother there with him to discuss his problems.
“Mom, I’m scared,” he said. “Dad hates me. Everybody makes fun of me. It is even worse now that everyone knows I had sex with Dylan. He has been the only one there for me though. He is the only one that I have ever truly shared a connection with. I am afraid of losing him, but I am equally afraid of what this all means. I don’t know what to do. I need your help now more then ever.”
“Do you love him?” he imagined her asking.
“Yes,” he said. “That I am sure of.”
“Then go to him,” he imagined her saying.
I fucking miss you so much, he thought to himself as he brushed off his dirty knees and made his way back to his truck.
Suddenly everything felt so clear. It all made sense now. He loved Dylan and that was all that mattered. He did not need to label himself in order for him to know who he was. He just knew he was happiest when he was with Dylan. His father could not hold him back any longer. The kids at school could not keep them apart. No homophobic slur could hurt him worse than the pain he would feel if he lost Dylan.
So, he drove to him. The rain began to pick up heavily as his truck pushed farther along down the road, but he refused to let it damper his mood. He drove fast, unwilling to let the slickness of the roads slow him down as the rain began to pour. He needed to apologize. He could not let what happened earlier ruin everything.
“Dylan,” he said as he banged on Dylan’s front door with raindrops pelting him from the sky. “I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry. I was scared.”
“You have some nerve showing up here,” Dylan said, opening his door slowly so that the rain did not slip inside.
“I am sorry!” he said, brushing his wet hair off to the side to keep the rain out of his eyes.
“Well, I don’t forgive you,” Dylan said. “You can’t talk to me like that. You know how much I hate when people say that shit.”
“I am sorry!” he said once more, this time dropping to his knees into the puddle at the bottom of the steps. “I can’t live without you!”
“Well, you’ll have to learn,” Dylan said, crossing his arms in displeasure.
“Please, do not leave me,” he said, wiping the tears from his face. “Everyone always leaves me. I can’t handle losing you too.”
“Just go, Ben,” Dylan said, pointing out towards the road.
“You don’t understand,” he said. “I need -”
“Get out!” Dylan yelled, picking up Benjamin out of the puddle and shoving him backwards towards his truck.
“Fine!” he shouted back, pushing himself up from Dylan’s muddy yard. “Just leave me like everyone else has!”
He turned his back and ran away from Dylan for the second time that day. He rushed into the woods and moved quickly through the fallen branches and leaves that laid damp on the wet ground.
“Ben!” Dylan screamed after him, following him as he moved deeper into the woods. “I am sorry but you hurt -”
“If you are going to leave me, than leave!” he said pushing away a branch out of his face.
“I am not going to leave you,” Dylan said.
“You will leave me just like everyone else has,” he said after he tripped on a tree root and fell into a puddle of mud. “Just go!”
“I am not going to leave you,” Dylan said as he picked up Benjamin and embraced him in his arms.
“Do not lie to me,” he said, trying to push his way out of Dylan’s grasp.
“I am not going to leave you,” Dylan said, tightening his hold and kissing Benjamin warmly on the lips.
“I am so fucking scared,” he said, letting himself weaken in Dylan’s arms. “I don’t think I can do this alone.”
“You are not alone,” Dylan said as the two embraced each other warmly in the torrential rain.
